Thursday, January 19, 2012

Yoga No No

I told myself this year, I am going to try to make it to the gym at least three days a week, if not more. To do this, I realized that I would have to switch up my routine as to not get bored. I typically do kickboxing and zumba, but have recently added in yoga as well. And, when it gets nicer outside, I'll try more hikes and trail walks. But back to yoga. Sunday was my first class in a long time and so I got there early, picked a space away from suspicious looking people that looked like they could be heavy, weird breathers and was grateful when my friends showed up and set up shop next to me.

We were in the middle of a rotation or salutation or whatever they call it when you're speedily doing a semi-pushup and then up into a downward dog in a smooth, graceful manner, when in walked Mean Old Late Lady. She laid her mat out behind and to the left of me, right next to the mirror. My space was not in hers and vice versa just as yoga is intended to be.

More than half way through class I'm holding yet another graceful pose when I hear her tell me, "Move up!" At first, I thought she meant move up on my mat, which I thought she was giving me a helpful tip about foot placement in yoga, but no, Mean Old Late Lady wanted me to move my mat altogether.

One, we're in the middle of YOGA. You're supposed to be quiet. And zen and not bossy. Two, you were late! As in, let's squish my mat in where it doesn't fit late. Three, I'm not going to stop in the middle of class to move my mat because you hissed at me to move. She, in response to my non action, decided to shove my hoodie and flip-flops, which were laid directly beside my mat forward. I gave her a puzzled look and my friend gave me a look in the mirror to see if I was going to throw down. In yoga. With an old lady. Which, let's be honest, it crossed my mind. Keep your hands to yourself. You learn that in kindergarten.

But, I didn't say anything. I continued yoga'ing, practiced my breathing, cleared my head and felt great. When class was finished and I'm rolling up my mat, chatting with my friends, Mean Old Late Lady pointed at me with her wrinkly, bony, long finger and snarled, "Why didn't you move up?" To which I replied, "Maybe next time ask nicer." And then I nodded my head as in, "Understand what I'm saying?" which was I'm not moving my mat.

Should I have moved? Eh, maybe. But I hate rudeness. I hate rudeness for no reason. And, I definitely am not going to listen to it from some lady who was late and who doesn't have any manners. Old people should know better, they've been around longer! They don't get a free pass. A please. A smile. A whisper and polite request is how to get what you want. At least it is with me. Do better.


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