I hate speaking in public. I don't like having focus shifted onto me unless I have specifically asked for it. If I should ever get married, I wouldn't mind if my groom would walk down the aisle while everyone stared at him and I would just stand at the alter waiting. In short, I don't care if people like to look away from me.
As a writer, I am fortunate that I don't have to speak to too many people on a regular basis. I rarely have to give a presentation and when I do speak it's about editing or social media or content. But as it is, my job has started a new video series for our company. The videos are meant to be short snippets of information for our clients and potential clients to learn about the ins and outs of what we do. It's a cool concept and hosting a video is purely volunteer.
But somehow I have volunteered! I have spoken up and said that I will do something I don't like! I'm not even sure how it happened, but now that it has I don't want to look like a punk and back out. I'm not nervous necessarily, but I'm already being too hypercritical of how I might screw up.
Also, it will just be me and the person running the video camera in the room, so it's not like I'll be publicly speaking, but I'll be put on the spot. And I don't do that. I'm not a performer! I'm a writer!
I can sit by myself for hours on end without any interaction and be ok. Of course, I'm not a hermit and don't prefer that, but I don't stand up and call to be the center of attention either. My personality is honestly borderline extrovert and introvert, but I feel that I'm only extroverted in situations I'm already comfortable in.
Although it's been quite some time, I do have experience with presentations. In high school, I was part of the forensics team and in college, one of my majors was Communication Studies, but since then I haven't really had to stand up in front of anyone. Ever.
But now it's the eve of my video and I'm not freaking out, but more just anticipating how things might have changed over the past decade? Will I feel more confident? Will I breeze through the video (which is short anyway)? No tricks work for me. No taking slow breaths or imagining the audience in their underwear, so stupid. I just want to be done with it. And, I want to do a good job.
Hopefully, I don't stammer through. Oh, and I also have to stand on top of a box of paper so I'm tall enough next to the wall TV that will be behind me. Don't stutter; don't sweat; don't biff it off the box.
Wish me luck!