Your 90-Day Trial Period Is O-V-E-R

Here's hoping...

I've officially made it through my 90-day trial period of being self-employed and I currently am still able to pay my rent. Success!

That, of course, does not come with a few bumps along the way. Being self-employed kind of feels like outpacing everyone by a few steps. One day a steady client could no longer need your services for a reason that has nothing to do with you (as just happened to me!) which causes panic to quickly take over your body and unsteady breathing to occur. Then, the next day a new client can hire you (as just happened to me, as well!) and balance is restored. You have to be ready to take the hits by always, quite simply, working your ass off.

The next thing I'm about to say is so horribly cliche, but I have to say it: 

Everything. Happens. For. A. Reason.

If you can't take a loss and look at the bigger picture of what that might mean in terms of new possibilities, then you might as well wave the white flag right now. Don't be fooled by my Instagram photos of coffee shop work days and sunshine breaks by the bay. 

It's a GRIND. 

In the past 90 days I have made more valuable work connections than I have in the past year or even the year before that. I have worked longer hours with a new set of challenges every day.

I have recently started contributing to Stilettos on the Glass Ceiling which is all about positivity, empowerment, and carries a palpable sense of forward movement. Their launch event will be in San Diego on June 5th and you can read my contributions every other week by clicking here.

I feel like I need a star chart so that for every setback there is, I can look at my star chart and remember what good has happened, too. There's simply no time for this kind of (slightly self-absorbed) reflection. During the rough times, it's more like a feeling of survival. Do what needs to be done to earn another day.

Susan Miller is the astrologer for Elle Magazine and I believe her horoscopes. I mean as much as you believe horoscopes. She has a website - www.astrologyzone.com - which I check religiously every month to see what she has forecast for me. For April, she said that "if self-employed, you will be able to find new clients." 

You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Susan Miller?!

My 90-day trial period is over and I am full fledged committed to this. This writing life...

I coulda gave up then but then again I couldn't have 'cause I've traveled all this way for something. - On Top of the World, Imagine Dragons

Thought of the day: "Niche-less" is not a bad word

So, technically, "niche-less" isn't a word at all, let alone a bad word. Nonetheless, it feels taboo. 

Being without a niche in my writing is something I've been struggling with recently. When you first meet someone, one of the first questions is, "What do you do?" Now that my answer is, "I'm a writer," the follow-up is immediately, "What do you write about?"

Ummm, do I start listing subjects? 

Just when I thought I would no longer stumble over answering the question that is most commonly asked to define someone, I begin rambling a mix of what I write in no particular order that really does not provide a clear depiction of the kind of writer I am. 

When I was a secretary, I always asterisked my answer of what I did by adding, but I want to be a writer. Like I had to be paid to write to be able to call myself a writer. That's what I thought. Otherwise, I felt like a fraud. I felt at any moment someone would say, you're not a writer, you're a secretary. And, they'd be right.

It's not that being a secretary is shameful. Lord knows I worked my ass off as one. It's the idea that I wasn't what I wanted to be.

And now I feel I need a parenthetical answer for being a writer without a niche. It's like without being able to provide a clear answer, I am aimless and not where I want to be all over again. 

Luckily, I am starting to understand that I'm still exploring. I write about nearly everything. Or, if I don't currently, I don't want to cancel out the possibility that I might in the future. I want to have a voice that is not limited. That's what kind of writer I want to be. 

I'm niche-less and I need to accept it.

And not just accept it, embrace it. It's not my style in writing or in life to fit into a mold. I hope people read what I write. Even more, I hope they like it and value it. But the truth is that I will continue to write no matter how many people read it, like it, comment on it, tweet it, or ignore it.

I don't like saying that I'm a writer because it is what I do for a living. I like saying it because it's something that feeds my soul and has for the greater part of my life. I rely on it in the same way I do prayer. That's not to be irreverent, the opposite, in fact. It is something I cherish and it defines the kind of faith I choose to live by.

I was talking with a friend who recently started her own blog and told her, you have to do it for YOU first. You can't write something for someone else's opinion. There will be tons of those for you to deal with. But your mind will become cluttered with what other people think you should do, and you won't be able to put down your unique thoughts, which is one of the many joys that comes from writing. 

Even if you never get paid for it, even if no one reads a damn thing you put down, for a moment you took the time to record something and make it count. 

No need for a niche; that's pretty awesome all by itself.

50/50 Challenge Update: Right on Track

sign outside Neighborhood in downtown San Diego

So far, so good on my goal of seeing fifty movies and reading fifty books this year. Where do you get your book ideas? The majority of mine come from the book clubs I'm part of as well as reviews I read in Elle, People, or any of the other number of magazines I read on a regular basis. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm racing through trying to reach the goal rather than enjoying the pleasure of reading a good book or watching a movie that moves you. Ah, doesn't that always seem be a struggle in life? The right balance between surging ahead, but stopping to smell the roses too.

BOOKS: 

I read The Orphan Train (Book #11) by Christina Baker Kline in two days. It was short, easy to read and a well-paced story, despite the switch back and forth between the past and present. When you think about the history of the story, it's fascinating. And reading about a red-headed orphan made me want to watch "Anne of Green Gables," the one starring Megan Follows. 

Glitter and Glue, (Book #12) the memoir from Kelly Corrigan was entertaining and certain quips had me thinking of my own mother. I got this by chance in the two-week lease option at the downtown library, which is honestly one of my favorites places to be.

MOVIES:

You can read all my movie reviews that on Examiner.com. You can even subscribe! Wink, wink. 

My "method" for writing movie reviews involves a simple two-step evaluation. First, I decide if the movie was entertaining. Second, I decide why it was. People need to keep in mind that movies are generated towards a specific type of audience. If you didn't like the movie, it doesn't always mean that it was poorly done. It just may not have been your cup o' tea. 

Who's seen "Divergent"? Clearly, that is directed at a very specific fan base. And let me tell you, it's not just the young adult audience. I love a strong female character. Understand what bigger topics these types of movies/books (Divergent, The Hunger Games) are covering: strength, intelligence, non-conformity. I say that's something to get on board with. 

#7: Bad Words 

#8: Need for Speed

#9: Divergent

Who else is doing the challenge? How are you tracking your progress?