Monday Musings: About Those Donuts, Calm Down

I'm going to 'fess up right away. In the last 30 days, I have eaten too many donuts. I actually went a whole span of time, something like 10 years, where I couldn't eat donuts.* But, then, one day I could. Again. 

I blame my love, who on more than one occasion has brought me donuts, including my absolute favorite, a caramel Long John (or maple bars or whatever you refer to them as), to me in bed on a lazy weekend morning. Wash that sucker down with a plastic container of ice cold milk and that, my friends, is simplistic bliss at its finest. 

To make matters worse, I just discovered that one of my favorite places in PB - The Baked Bear - now offers Donut Ice Cream Sandwiches! Eep! This place allows you to mix-and-match your favorites cookies or brownies with whatever flavor of ice cream you wan't scooped in between. If you follow me on Instagram, then you've already had a visual of this glorious concoction.

I scarfed that puppy down so fast. So, it's clear I need to cool it on the donuts. Especially since two of my goals for the new year is to walk more and do the abs portion of my workouts. 

I take classes at 24 Hour Fitness pretty regularly, but I often opt out of the abs at the end. I either lie on the mat reveling in my own awesomeness for making it to the gym or hightail it out of there before the torture can begin. This year though, it wouldn't hurt me to stay. Even if I still lay there for half of the time. 

Walking is something I want to do more of because of the exercise, but more for the chance for me to clear my mind. I love a good, long walk either with friends, my guy, or solo. I am fortunate to live in a gorgeous city with near perfect weather year-round, so walking new paths isn't hard to do. 

I took a five-mile walk recently, exploring an unfamiliar to me and discovered another thing I want to do this year: go sea fishing! If you live in San Diego or are just visiting, they have a new open fish market every Saturday morning at the docks by Seaport Village. I have yet to go, but I want to check it out and also befriend a fisherman and experience it for myself. Not sure how I'm going to do that quite yet, but I am confident it can be done.

Should I just leave a note on one of these boats? 

San Diego fishing boats - January 2015

I'm feeling pretty good this first Monday of 2015. With inspiration from the Passion Planner, I am creating a focus for the week and listing all the things that go well, which will help keep things in perspective for me. 

Other randomness -- 

What I'm reading: Someone Else's Love Story by Joshilyn Jackson
What I'm listening to: Out of the Woods by Taylor Swift (shamelessly on repeat) and also Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars (because sometimes you just gotta DANCE)
What I'm watching: The Pioneer Woman (always, and all the shows that are coming back from break, including Suits! #TeamDonna)

Hope you all have a spectacular week! Quit grumbling about Monday -- it's almost over!

*When I was a young girl at Girl Scout camp, one of my fellow scouts handed out the donuts we had packed for the trip. She went on to lick her fingers between each donut and all I could imagine was her disgusting slobber all over my glazed pastry. I declined eating donuts that day and for hundreds of days after. Moral of the story: If you want to go on a diet, imagine someone has spit on your food.

50/50 Challenge Update: Two Months to Go!

Fall is my favorite season. Wish I had taken this photo, but alas, it's from Pinterest.

Hey-o! Less than 60 days to prove that I can read 50 books and watch 50 movies in one year. OK, I'm not really trying to prove anything, but I would enjoy the accomplishment. I'll keep this update short and sweet.

Movies

41. Gone Doggy Gone 

This screened at San Diego Film Festival and it's a fun, twisted movie that pokes fun at just how much people loooove their dogs.

42. St. Vincent

Bill Murray. Highly recommend. I laughed and cried and laughed some more.

43. The Good Lie

I also highly recommend. I was pretty much teary-eyed throughout the whole movie.

44. The Best of Me

Eh. Nicholas Sparks enthusiasts will dig it.

45. Nightcrawler

One of the most original films I've seen in awhile. Not usually a huge Jake Gyllenhaal fan, but he is fantastic in this.

Books (a measly ONE since my last update)

35. Leaving Time - Jodi Picoult

Psychics. Paranormal. Mystery. It's like Jodi Picoult surveyed me and asked, "Courtney, what is it that you want?" This was one of my favorites of hers in a long time and is reminiscent of her earlier work. She has changed publishing houses and editors, which may or may not be one of the reasons. 

35 1/2. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller

I read most of the beginning and then started to read from the back, so there's a whole middle section I skipped because I couldn't get into this book, but I really wanted to. 

I know I'll reach my movie goal, but can I make it through 15 more books?

Monday Musings

ate another piece for this pic

My intention was to update my blog daily or at least weekly for the month of October. I write all the time for work, so my blog is just for me to ramble and share things and be creative. It has been over a week since my last post, so you can see how well that's working out. I think of this discipline as November nears and I am going to try once again to write a novel for NaNoMo. 

I think if I really wanted to write a book, wouldn't I have already done it? But I don't want to just zip something out that I'll hate six months later and want to redo. I want to be proud of it because should that day comes when it is finished, that might be my last novel effort. I don't want my book to be a one-hit wonder bomb.

Peanut butter on banana bread. A revelation. I didn't think of it. The Patio on Goldfinch has it as part of their dessert menu and as soon as I ate it, I thought, why couldn't I be this brilliant?!

Do you ever hear a witty comeback and hold on to it waiting for just the right moment to say it? I have two of them that I'm dying to say, but don't want to waste them on the wrong person. 

I love TV. I've said it before, I'll say it again. I am a busy person. I do have better things to do, but I CHOOSE to watch TV. To add to this lazy habit, I just began Season One of The Good Wife and I am hooked. My fiance rigged up his computer with Google Chromecast, so that we can watch it stream on our TV. I'm so glad he's tech-savvy and appreciates television as much as me.

I like staying calm when I know it will make someone else madder. If this is wrong, I don't want to be right.

If you haven't heard, the Kansas City Royals are headed to the World Series, which is awesome news! I'm from Kansas City, so it's easy to be excited, but I think it's odd how people not cheering for Kansas City nor San Francisco hate the Royals so much. Can't you just let them have their moment? They've waited long enough for the love!

I've noticed I always try to work talking about food into every conversation. I think it's a better gauge of if you're going to get along with someone rather than asking them what they do. 

This song continues to be on repeat for me for the rest of the week. Chris Messina, you dirty, cutie dog.

"You say I'm crazy 'cause you don't think I know what you've done."

Birthday Resolutions: Act Like You Care

Celebrate with vodka (or your drink of choice)! photo from Flickr

One week from today I celebrate my birthday! You can send all gifts to...just kidding, but cheers to all the fellow Virgos out there! 

For a few years now, I've planned birthday resolutions to kick my "new year" off right. Similar to the popular New Year's resolutions or vision boards, the birthday resolutions are meant to create a change that will last longer than your temporary gym membership. 

What's the point of birthday resolutions, you ask? If you're anything like me, you get stuck in ruts. You have lofty ideas of the kind of life you would like to live and the types of things you would like to do and then you wake up and a year has gone by, two years, a decade, you get the picture. 

When Sally laments about turning 40, I am of the same age to feel the same way. (Go to 1:49 of the clip to hear her exasperation)




Honestly though, I am not that worried about getting older. That "oh shit" feeling has yet to hit me and hopefully it never will. I actively pursue ways to lead the kind of life I want. I don't just say, "Welp, too old to do that. Oh, well." 

Birthday resolutions give you a chance to make changes, big or small, that will bring your more adventure, and ultimately, happiness and sense of accomplishment to your life.

It's not something to set you up for failure, but rather to keep you on track for future goals, so that you don't let them slip away. 

I haven't created my full list, but I know this year I will attempt to once more to finish a novel (or at least a collection of short stories) within 30 days for NaNoMo. 

International travel, exploring new cities, more consistent creative writing (rather than just writing for work) are all also on the list. I have already taken active steps to make sure that these resolutions come to fruition.

Don't act like you have reached a point in your life where this is always how it's going to be. Don't just accept a way of living because you don't want to make an effort to change or improve or take a different path than someone else (including your old self) has set out for you.

Give yourself the proper attention you deserve. Take care of business. Have this year be a little better than last. Celebrate.

Do you make birthday resolutions? Care to share?

Change of (Work) Scenery

SILO in Makers Quarter

Are you one of those people who power through a day with no breaks or do find yourself hitting a wall at oh, about 2 p.m. like me? 

I wake up at 7 a.m. most mornings to begin my day and crank out a good chunk of work before noon. Why? Because I know that once that early afternoon hour crawls around that my productivity level begins to dip. Why is that? Do I need a snack? A nap? Both? 

Am I not that different from a toddler and can only focus on certain activities for a few hours at a time before becoming hangry or overcome with sleepiness? 

I believe that our bodies are just not made to go on auto-pilot. They can; they just don't like it. I would rather break up my day and work extra hours if it means a big ol' break in the middle. 

There are deadlines to meet and projects to complete and that is not always an acceptable answer. I find whenever I hit this wall, a change of scenery is always necessary. Whether that's a stop for a coffee break, a trip the library or a new work space that does not include my home office, whatever it is, it always seems to help. 

There are many downfalls to being a freelancer. I know you're not supposed to say that because we are supposed to be ripe with optimism for those who want follow suit and be self-employed as well. But, the truth is that when you have freedom to essentially do what you want, you better be doing something. 

Otherwise, you find your asleep with Food Network blaring in the background and dreams of Barefoot Contessa baking you homemade brownies. (This may or may not have happened when I was suffering the sweltering heat inside my apartment and reacting to too much Tylenol Cold & Sinus)

Movement of any kind is key. Due to my endless hours on the computer, there are times when I think my legs might become fused into the seated position. That's why I do yoga, pace around my living room like a dog waiting for its owner, and yes, at times, lie down for a power nap. 

If you want to make your life different than what it is, you have to be prepared to move. This goes for both the physical and emotional sense. The fear of being stagnant keeps me constantly changing. 

The to-do list stays the same but the change of scenery makes all the difference. 

My Floating Penny

Didn't it seem like the 4th just happened and now all of a sudden it's the middle of the month and before you know it, it'll be Christmas and you'll wonder, what the hell have I been doing?!

The fast-forward feeling of time reminds me of that part in "When Harry Met Sally" when Sally is crying to Harry and says, "I'm gonna be 40!" And he responds, "In eight years." Then, she adds, "But it's out there just waiting for me" or something like that. 

It's a constant balance of chase down everything you want to accomplish in life but oh no, slow down and enjoy it. Which is it? Chase or enjoy? How could I possibly do both simultaneously? Half the time I wonder how I am able to do anything simultaneously! 

But I will say this, time does fly when you're having fun. And luckily, while I feel like my wheels are going a mile a minute (much like yours, I'm sure), I feel like it's, for the most part, it's a fun movement. And that is a blessing.

There has been a lot going on in the past few weeks which is why there hasn't been a post. Too much to really detail to you, but I have to tell you about this class I went to about shifting your energy and getting in touch with your spirit guide. Before you brush it off, let me say that I am a believer in the power of positive thinking (necessary to both bold and italicize!) and you should be, too. Who wants to be a believer in "oh well, shit happens"? 

Anyway, the class was way beyond my current spirituality level, but one exercise we did stood out. We had to secure a penny to the wall by willing it. As in, I was to make it my intention to make it stick. I tried and tried, and it didn't work. Other people in the class were doing it no problem. They didn't have to hold it there, they just put it up and walked away. 

I decided I would take the exercise seriously and put my full concentration into it later at home and what do you know, it worked! Granted if shifting energy was so simple, then I'd make it my intention to win the lottery and travel the world, but of course, it's more the intent of challenging your mind to be positive when sometimes it wants to be a downer. Saying "I will" rather than "I won't." Seems simple enough. 

the action was more impressive than the photo

I end each day listing what I am grateful for and "setting my intention" on what I want my life to be. Say out loud, with confidence, what it is you want and how you intend to get it. Don't be half-ass about your dreams. 

At the very least, it clears my mind so I have peaceful sleep. At the very best, I am changing the energy around me one molecule at a time, so don't be surprised if you see me on TV holding that winning lotto ticket in whatever form that might be.

#DateWiththeDans Marketing Winner!

First question I often get asked is, "What do you do?" After I tell them, there is an immediate follow-up:"What do you write about?" 

I go into explanation about my dual writing personality. On one side, I write commentary on nearly every subject imaginable including but not limited to movies, books, travel, food and fashion. On the other side, I write for businesses in both the content and social media marketing realms.

And then whenever I get a chance, I write creatively for what will one day, hopefully in the near future, be a book.

But back to marketing. I kind of fell into SEO/SEM/social media life when I first moved to San Diego and it's amazing how much I've learned and how much I enjoy it!

Recently, the San Diego Hubspot User Group or HUG for short hosted a contest to win a #DateWiththeDans. I was one of the three winners! 

Side note: I'm not competitive, but I do like to win. 

The Dans are Dan Tyre and Dan Zarrella of Hubspot who had excellent insight and funny stories to share about their time in the sales and marketing world. I mean, Dan Tyre is an OG. Seriously, he is -- he was the 6th employee at Hubspot. Dan Zarrella gets to have the word 'scientist' in this title, so that's pretty dang cool. In short, it was a prize well worth it.

Breakfast #DateWiththeDans. Me = bad hair

My "date" consisted of a breakfast meeting, a signed copy of Dan Zarrella's newest book, and just an overall good time. They then spoke later at a co-hosted SD Hug and SEM San Diego meetup group which drew in quite the crowd at Karl Strauss Brewery. There was free pizza and a free beer - hey, hey now!

A few things I ran by the Dans is the question of sales versus marketing and why it's such a battle between teams rather than a nice coming together of those involved. Fortunately, they validated what I had thought regarding the value of marketers. Dan Tyre said that marketers take potential clients through the sales funnel nearly three-quarters of the way! 

Numbers don't lie. Sales can't even dispute that.

Have you been to this Karl Strauss location before?

Even better, they both agreed that a SEO person is not actually necessary in today's marketing world. Who IS important? WRITERS! 

Let me pause for a dance.

I half-jokingly asked Dan Tyre if he'd let me record a video of him on my phone and add that as a testimonial on my website. He said he would oblige. I have not cashed in. Yet.

San Diego has a tuned-in community of marketers who are eager to learn more and be ahead of what's to come in the age of online marketing. This Monday is Social Media Day where there will be a day long conference all about, you guessed it, social media marketing.

SEM San Diego has had powerhouses David Mihm and Wil Reynolds as recent speakers. And there are several other groups throughout the city that all have different benefits, so take a look around and see who you want to network with and how you can benefit.

Who knows maybe you, too, will win a breakfast date that involves the biggest pig in a blanket breakfast you've ever seen. 

Pig in a blanket at Great Maple

#MotivationMonday

When life gets a bit overwhelming or my worries seem too big, I listen to the ocean and I remember how far I've come, the dreams I've made come true. I am brought back to the moment and I am grateful I am here.  

A seagull's perspective 

Randomness + a Recipe

Most of my blog posts are focused with a theme so to speak. Whether it's the latest book I didn't like or the best thing about the vacation I was just on, I have some kind of central topic I am discussing.

This post is not like that.

It is random (or more random than the others) because writing is calming, soothing, therapeutic. It's my favorite thing to do before bed, when I first get up and all the time in between. 

There are times when I have these genius thoughts and I think, "I should write that down!" and then when I go to write it down it is not nearly as smart as it had seemed in my mind.

Last month was a gem compared to April. Susan Miller, astrologer extraordinaire, says it was due to the eclipse, and I think she was right! April was kind of a pisser. 

Why, you wonder? Let me just say for this first year as a full-time freelancer, it is like standing on the edge of a cliff. Maybe not a long ways down cliff, but at least if I fell, my leg would break or at least I'd sprain my ankle. On one side, there is solid ground and on the other side is something unknown. 

If I reach the other side, will I fly for a second? Fall with a thud? Or, somehow come away unscathed and feeling invincible. I'm sure you can guess which I'm aiming for here in my freelance/cliff dwelling metaphor.

Fortunately, May brought some relief and the chance to meet my new baby niece, still not yet two months old, and she brought such joy that I could hardly think of anything else. My family makes me feel like home no matter where we are. Spending time with them is one of my favorite things in life.

Now we're on to June, so quickly like I was pushed through April and May to avoid the chance of too much damage. I made it through the other side and here I am in a new month with a fresh outlook and reaching out for countless opportunities. 

And just like that, being invincible doesn't seem like quite a pipe dream.

Before I leave you from this random, rambling blog post, I shall leave you with a recipe. I do this because I always seem to make the same things: spaghetti, tacos, baked chicken, repeat and I guess you might, too. We could all use new recipes now and then.

Today, I made baked salmon with pesto served with roasted Brussels sprouts and corn on the cob. Simple and delicious, not to mention inexpensive due to all items being on sale.

If you want to follow this recipe, you have to follow it precisely or it will turn out like crap. Just kidding, if you don't follow the recipe exactly, it will taste much better.

Simple Summer Lunch for When You Only Have Six Bucks

This beautiful meal is on the oldest plate I have.
I made it from a paper plate in 1987 in school.
No, I'm not making it up. It says my name.

- one package of salmon (two pieces per package) on sale at Fresh and Easy

= one container of pesto

- one package of Brussels sprouts

- one package of corn on the cob

Line a baking sheet with tinfoil. I do this so that it is easier to wash it. I do not have a dishwasher and any little thing helps. Place salmon and cut up Brussels sprouts on the foil and drizzle with olive oil (the good kind, for the love!) and salt and pepper. Butter, salt and pepper your corn on the cob, wrap in separate foil, but put on the baking sheet as well. Cook everything at 375 degrees for 30 minutes. 

Take it out and look at it. If it looks like it could use a few more minutes, stick it back in. 

If you want to something extra delicious, mix your butter with cotija cheese and chili powder first and then lather up your corn cobs. Use the pesto as a side to the salmon or put it right on top when baking like I do.

It's cheap. It's delicious. And you don't feel like crap when you eat a few extra spoonfuls of Ben & Jerry's - Salted Caramel Core or Karamel Sutra Core, if you know what's good for you. 

April, I'm Over You

April seemed like the longest month, but oddly, also went by fast. There were some bumps in the career road but also real boosts. Do you ever feel like sometimes you are trying to swim faster than the wave that will most likely overtake you and hold you under? Surely I'm not the only one that thinks in such dramatic terms. 

April felt like a month that it was more important than ever to be five steps ahead of every situation and now I have safely made it into May and let me just say, it's off to a good start!

Last month ended on a high note with a trip to Chicago that I've recorded on my travel guide in three different posts. I love to travel and explore; it's one of my favorite parts of life. Earlier this year I had a fabulous girls weekend in San Antonio and then promptly scheduled three trips that all now are happening in a matter of months.

Carefree in Chicago!

I will be updating the travel guide with every city I visit with tips and fun places to go, and I am thinking of doing short videos as well. For my upcoming trip to Nashville, my friend and I have a long layover in Denver, a perfect time to give it a whirl. Nothing fancy or too edited, just an on-the-go look to pair with my blog.

I've also been collaborating with some amazing creative women who are proving invaluable to helping me reach my goals. Surrounding yourself with positive, ambitious people can really do wonders for your psyche, aspirations, and overall sanity.

So, it's off to Nashville this week, but you'll hear from again soon. Hope your May is starting out just as great as mine! I'd love to hear from you and what you're most looking forward to this month. Comment below or send me a tweet at: @mscourtneybeth. 

Do You Have a Website? Why Yes, Yes I Do - www.courtneyhartmann.com

I thought it'd be helpful to have a website to at least have a central online presence for the times when someone asks, "Do you have a website?" 

For a long time, I just had the domain, but no site. Then, I changed the website to what I thought was a simple, chic, gray and white format. I am a writer, not a designer. I wasn't going to overwhelm with a lot of banner design and CSS business that frankly, I know nothing about.

I wanted a website that sums up who I am, what I do and how you can contact me. I don't like to be segmented into one box, as you might remember, so I didn't want a cold price list of my services and how much they cost. Each project is different.

HOWEVER, despite my modern and simplistic original web design, I had more than one person claim my website to be "too blah." Two people said this, in fact, in not so many words. After scoffing at this criticism, I did have to ask myself, do I want my creativity to be represented all in gray? I am not sophisticate extraordinaire. I am not gray and white silk pantsuit chic.

I am an adventurous explorer and I wanted to be reflected online as such. May I present the brand new: www.courtneyhartmann.com!

As a perfectionist, the website will always be a work in progress but the basics are there and most importantly, I love it. So, I'm going to have this moment.

I think it's important to realize that you can have both sides of the writing coin. Yes, you can have a perfectly professional work ethic that meets the goals your clients have in mind. 

You can also embrace your creative side that ignites everything you do whether it is writing copy for a business, networking at an event, or just jotting down some notes on a sticky pad to be referenced later and potentially turned into something great. 

No one can tell you what kind of writer you're going to be. For me, I just want to be a memorable one. A great one. The best.

I want my writing to help people achieve their goals and I want it to lead me to new stories, exotic travels, a fantastically wild life. 

Your 90-Day Trial Period Is O-V-E-R

Here's hoping...

I've officially made it through my 90-day trial period of being self-employed and I currently am still able to pay my rent. Success!

That, of course, does not come with a few bumps along the way. Being self-employed kind of feels like outpacing everyone by a few steps. One day a steady client could no longer need your services for a reason that has nothing to do with you (as just happened to me!) which causes panic to quickly take over your body and unsteady breathing to occur. Then, the next day a new client can hire you (as just happened to me, as well!) and balance is restored. You have to be ready to take the hits by always, quite simply, working your ass off.

The next thing I'm about to say is so horribly cliche, but I have to say it: 

Everything. Happens. For. A. Reason.

If you can't take a loss and look at the bigger picture of what that might mean in terms of new possibilities, then you might as well wave the white flag right now. Don't be fooled by my Instagram photos of coffee shop work days and sunshine breaks by the bay. 

It's a GRIND. 

In the past 90 days I have made more valuable work connections than I have in the past year or even the year before that. I have worked longer hours with a new set of challenges every day.

I have recently started contributing to Stilettos on the Glass Ceiling which is all about positivity, empowerment, and carries a palpable sense of forward movement. Their launch event will be in San Diego on June 5th and you can read my contributions every other week by clicking here.

I feel like I need a star chart so that for every setback there is, I can look at my star chart and remember what good has happened, too. There's simply no time for this kind of (slightly self-absorbed) reflection. During the rough times, it's more like a feeling of survival. Do what needs to be done to earn another day.

Susan Miller is the astrologer for Elle Magazine and I believe her horoscopes. I mean as much as you believe horoscopes. She has a website - www.astrologyzone.com - which I check religiously every month to see what she has forecast for me. For April, she said that "if self-employed, you will be able to find new clients." 

You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Susan Miller?!

My 90-day trial period is over and I am full fledged committed to this. This writing life...

I coulda gave up then but then again I couldn't have 'cause I've traveled all this way for something. - On Top of the World, Imagine Dragons

Thought of the day: "Niche-less" is not a bad word

So, technically, "niche-less" isn't a word at all, let alone a bad word. Nonetheless, it feels taboo. 

Being without a niche in my writing is something I've been struggling with recently. When you first meet someone, one of the first questions is, "What do you do?" Now that my answer is, "I'm a writer," the follow-up is immediately, "What do you write about?"

Ummm, do I start listing subjects? 

Just when I thought I would no longer stumble over answering the question that is most commonly asked to define someone, I begin rambling a mix of what I write in no particular order that really does not provide a clear depiction of the kind of writer I am. 

When I was a secretary, I always asterisked my answer of what I did by adding, but I want to be a writer. Like I had to be paid to write to be able to call myself a writer. That's what I thought. Otherwise, I felt like a fraud. I felt at any moment someone would say, you're not a writer, you're a secretary. And, they'd be right.

It's not that being a secretary is shameful. Lord knows I worked my ass off as one. It's the idea that I wasn't what I wanted to be.

And now I feel I need a parenthetical answer for being a writer without a niche. It's like without being able to provide a clear answer, I am aimless and not where I want to be all over again. 

Luckily, I am starting to understand that I'm still exploring. I write about nearly everything. Or, if I don't currently, I don't want to cancel out the possibility that I might in the future. I want to have a voice that is not limited. That's what kind of writer I want to be. 

I'm niche-less and I need to accept it.

And not just accept it, embrace it. It's not my style in writing or in life to fit into a mold. I hope people read what I write. Even more, I hope they like it and value it. But the truth is that I will continue to write no matter how many people read it, like it, comment on it, tweet it, or ignore it.

I don't like saying that I'm a writer because it is what I do for a living. I like saying it because it's something that feeds my soul and has for the greater part of my life. I rely on it in the same way I do prayer. That's not to be irreverent, the opposite, in fact. It is something I cherish and it defines the kind of faith I choose to live by.

I was talking with a friend who recently started her own blog and told her, you have to do it for YOU first. You can't write something for someone else's opinion. There will be tons of those for you to deal with. But your mind will become cluttered with what other people think you should do, and you won't be able to put down your unique thoughts, which is one of the many joys that comes from writing. 

Even if you never get paid for it, even if no one reads a damn thing you put down, for a moment you took the time to record something and make it count. 

No need for a niche; that's pretty awesome all by itself.

50/50 Challenge: Back to Books

Addicted? Just a wee bit.

I'm not too off pace for my 50 books in 2014 goal. I've been reading a little bit of everything lately, mostly that which has been suggested for my book clubs. 

The Preservationist by Justin Kramon is a suspense novel, not too gory, and some pretty interesting characters. The cool thing is that I met this author because he paid a visit to our book club, which I think is just too, too great. What a great way to really get to know your readers (audience) and connect with them. He did this for his first book and he's done this with his new one. 

Side note: this must be the year of the author for me because I've been able to meet one, and hear two others speak last month (Jeannette Walls and Anne Lamott), and will be attending yet another book reading from another author. Check with your local bookstores or just visit your favorite author's website for appearances. I've been able to meet several of my favorites.

I also read a book about taxes, which sounds boring, and part of it kind of was. But it was helpful. I mean how fascinating can taxes be? There is a good section in Outsmarting the System written by former IRS agent Anthony Campidonica that is particularly of interest to me regarding self-employment and taxes. To win a free copy of the book, click here.

And, just recently I read Golden State by Michelle Richmond, whom I will hear speak at Warwick's in La Jolla next week. This book was fantastically written and was truly just a good story. It spans over the course of one day but takes on really heavy situations told in a way that makes it seem like the story is of someone you know. 

So, there you go. Three new books to add to my goal. Starting The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes next. I have picked up the Large Print version by accident. Although, I am not that bummed about this mistake. 

Happy reading!

Book #8: The Preservationist by Justin Kramon

Book #9: Outsmarting the System by Anthony Campidonica

Book #10: Golden State by Michelle Richmond 

The Day I Gave Up My Journal

When I was in the fifth grade, a good family friend gave me my first journal. None of my entries started off with 'Dear Diary' but many of my entries began the same way. There were days I wondered if I was going to win the spelling bee. If the boy I liked would send me a valentine. Why my best friend was mad at me again. The journal was meant to serve as an outlet for any emotions I might be feeling following my parents divorce. I feel that our family friend saved me a lot of money in therapy by giving me such an outlet.

Looking back I see that over the years not much changed in what I wrote down. I rarely wrote when I had a good day. I always wrote when I was sad or mad or confused. Although the names and situations changed, the common theme throughout my journaling days was - "Will I find someone who loves me?" and "What am I going to do with my life?"

Then something happened.

I started throwing away my journals. Many people told me I should save them. Why? To learn from the lessons that I failed to learn the first time around? Some of the entries while entertaining were not worth keeping around to have someone read when I'm gone. They were more embarrassing than it is riveting.

So one by one, I began tearing out the pages and throwing them away, laughing as I did. Reading the words I had written about things that really didn't matter. Writing about things like they were the ONLY things that mattered. In 2010, I noticed my entries finally began to really change. Instead of the angsty, unfulfilled entries of the past, I started making lists of goals. I wrote down inspiring lyrics and quotes. I started stories. I ended ones too. And then one day, I realized I hadn't posted an entry for about three weeks.

Instead I had started keeping a dream journal to record my dreams. I started writing for Examiner as a fashion and relationships writer. I began to build upon what I loved doing. I continued to work on freelance projects and found that I didn't want to use what I love to write about how SORRY I feel for myself - talk about a waste of time.

And yet, it wasn't.

Writing in those journals let me see what I was feeling without realizing it at the time. It allowed me to get my feelings out so that I could move on instead of holding them inside. It showed me a way to positively and productively focus my writing. And it confirmed that although that chapter of my writing life has ended, the story has just begun.