Thought of the Day: Burning Bridges a.k.a. I Don't Want to Know You Anymore

I had a dream where I was trying to convince someone it was ok to burn bridges. I asked my Facebook peoples if they felt that to be true and received a variety of answers, all good ones. 

There is the finality aspect of burning bridges that scares people. The part where you tell another person directly or indirectly that you do not want to see them or speak to them again. Like, ever. What happens if you meet that person down the road or inexplicably, need a favor from them? 

In my perfect world, the people who I do not care to see or do business with ever again, I hope I would never see or God forbid, need a favor from in the future!

Why would I want someone like that linked to me in any way? If they did not contribute to my success or happiness before, how would they in the future? If I did not trust that person, why would I go against my beliefs (the belief that people should not be a-holes) to reach out to them in a time of need? 

I do understand that work-wise, in certain industries, it's not always smart to burn bridges completely. But I feel that I have a good grasp of who I will see again and whose time in charge was short-lived and it is highly unlikely that their view of me would harm my reputation. I don't even think that's how it works, especially for writers. What's someone going to say about me -- she's a shitty writer? I mean that criticism is just a given with the job. 

I think the definitive part is what makes it so incredible. Why would you want to have a hanger on? If a person is not providing a positive presence in your life, why wouldn't you just scoot away? Maybe not burn the bridge necessarily, but leave them on it.

Is there a time where you've burned a bridge you wish you hadn't? Is there a time where you wish you would've let go sooner than you did? When it comes to burning bridges, what is your final answer? 

50/50 Challenge PLUS -- Is 2014 My Year?!

This is my official third year trying to meet the 50/50 goal. I don't think meeting the movie goal is going to be a problem, but the book goal always trips me up. I am starting out strong with already three books under my belt. At this pace, I should get to 50 by the end of the year, no problem!

This kind of confidence is so easy to have a few weeks in. Come September, you might be hearing me sing a different tune.

The second book I read this year was the popular "Divergent" by Veronica Roth mostly because I want to see the movie this spring, and everyone knows it's better to read the book first. This was actually my third attempt to read the book because I expected it to take right off just like "The Hunger Games." "The Hunger Games" it is not. It is a good book, just not the great one I had hoped for. The premise is fantastic, but the language and story lost me a little and I felt myself skimming over a few pages to get to the next good part.

The third book I read is "The Husband's Secret" by Liane Moriarty. I read this for one of the millions of book clubs I am part of and also because it's been highly recommended by all the fashion magazines I read. Again, I appreciate the premise of this book, but the story was muddled by all the different characters to keep track of, which is part of which makes the story fascinating. I liked it, but didn't love it.

When it comes to movies, I dove right in and saw two in one week. "Ride Along" with my favorite comedian, Kevin Hart was just as funny as I thought it'd be. It's not the kind of movie you're just raving about for weeks, but it is the kind of movie that you're laughing with throughout the 90-plus minutes its running. Kevin Hart is hilarious. That's it. I love him. I would love to meet him. 

"Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit" was a good action flick with an aging Kevin Costner, boring Keira Knightley, and an sit-up-and-notice performance from Chris Pine. 

The third movie was a documentary that I watched as part of a project I'm on. "Hot Coffee" highlights the "lady who sued McDonald's after being burned by hot coffee" but really it's so much more than that. It covers tort reform (a term I had never known about) and employee arbitration (pay attention to what you sign!) in an interesting, appealing, and empathetic way, just as most good documentaries do.

So...I'm off to a great start! Up on high horse, pat on back, here I go!

Book #2: Divergent by Veronica Roth
Book #3: The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty

Movie #1: Ride Along
Movie #2: Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Movie #3: Hot Coffee

Thought of the Day: No Time for Negativity

They say you're supposed to eliminate all the negative energy/people from your life to make room for all the positive. I don't really know who "they" are, but they're right. 

Do you hang onto things longer because you feel like you can solve the problem? Do you feel that whatever is causing you anguish is somehow within your control and that if you stick it out, you will receive some great prize at the end for toughing it out - like a unicorn or pot of gold?

The thing is that sometimes problems that affect you actually aren't caused by you. This often comes into play in work life, relationship life, friend life - a lot in life. And you feel that since you are indirectly part of the problem, then you should help find a solution. 

Not true, my friend. 

In order to eliminate the negative you have to identify it. You have to be honest about it and not excuse it away. If you do have some responsibility for it, then you have to own that as well so you can change it.

When you discover who or what is the source of your misery or at least the source of you not being as happy as you believe you could be, then take the proper steps to get rid of it. This may be something that takes time like if you are in a job you don't like. Sure it'd be great to stick it to your boss or whomever is driving you nuts, but that thing called a paycheck is still important. It's not worth your sanity, but it is still something to consider.

In other cases, you might just have to solve the problem like ripping off a band-aid. Wait, that doesn't really resonate with me. Ripping off a band-aid doesn't hurt all that much, especially if it is wet. It can just slide right off. You know what hurts? Chapped lips. Really chapped lips and you have skin that you just want to rip off so you can slough them properly and add Vaseline.

So rip off the dead, chapped skin and know that healing is on its way. This method is usually more effective when it comes to friendships or relationships. If you have someone who is causing a negative cloud over your life, then it's not typically something that just appears out of nowhere. You've probably convinced yourself that tough times are bound to happen or that it's your fault somehow because you're not being supportive. Whatever it is, identify it and think to yourself, would I be happier without this person in my life? Be honest. Then, you know what to do.

Anyway, the whole point of my thought of the day is that I finally have become better at eliminating negative energy from life. Not that it's smooth sailing all the time every day, but the things I can control, I do. It feels very liberating and freeing and peaceful.

Try it. Take baby steps. Don't feel like you always have to be the solution or find the solution or have a solution. Walking away, removing yourself form a situation, sometimes it is the best thing to do.