CASA Stands for Something

Today I had court observation for a new volunteer opportunity I'm pursuing. I'm going to be a CASA - a court-appointed special advocate. My job will be to advocate for my case child - one who is a dependent of the court, one who needs some consistency in his or her life. I am responsible for being a go-to.

I will be visiting with a foster child whose case has been assigned to me. I will work with a social worker, possibly foster parents, school teachers, and every other person that plays a significant role in the growth of any child.

CASA is a national organization and is something I've wanted to do since college. At one point I thought I'd become a social worker. At another time, I thought I might become an attorney. This volunteer opportunity kind of combines the two a little. In California, the branch of CASA is called Voices for Children.

If you sign up to volunteer as well, you go through intensive training. They are flexible for those who have working schedules and the training I attended was in the evenings after work. Today observing the court docket in the juvenile court, that was my last "duty" as a CASA trainee. Next week I will be sworn in by a judge and I will officially be an advocate for a child.

I am a little anxious, but mostly looking forward to the challenge. Children should receive equal opportunities, more than anyone. They are just beginning to form their dreams and gain useful knowledge and if it's stunted with emotional distress or physical abuse or a combination of the two plus being taken from placement to placement, it can really disrupt them from the path of success. More importantly, it can derail them from the path to happiness.

I wish that being a CASA means that I was going to change the world. Or, even change a child. But, what I really expect is to show up where I'm expected. I want a child to know that there are people who want to show up for them when they say they will. I want to teach them about accountability and dependability. I can do that be simply showing up. That's what they've taught us in our training. Hopefully, that is what I achieve during my 18 months dedicated as a CASA.

Blah, Blah, Blah

Today I woke up feeling blah. Not good, not bad - just blah. Mondays are my best days it seems because they are so busy. Therefore, they go by really fast, but Tuesdays I have to keep chugging along. I've been grinding my teeth a lot more lately at night, and I think it's because I'm sleeping harder, which means I have something on my mind. I would share with you what's on my mind, but I don't know what it is. Sounds crazy, but really there is nothing at the forefront of my mind that would be responsible for such heavy duty sleeping.

I hate blah days because I feel guilty for having them. So everything in my day didn't go perfectly according to plan, why do I feel justified to be in a bad mood over that? I shouldn't. But I do. What's worse is when you will yourself out of a blah day into a good one and then end borderline bad. This happens when you have a lot on your plate, when things don't go your way, when you just feel frustrated and tired. I am not the only one who has these kinds of days and my blah day could be your good day. Your good day could be my bad. Perspective, I guess.

So I handled the end to my blah/bad day by doing what I do best and focusing it on work and something productive. This works the majority of the time, but not always. To really end the day, I will read gossip and fashion magazines until my eyes can't stay open. I will make sure to count my blessings and ask God for guidance like I do every night.

And, then I will thank my lucky stars that my blah day wasn't an all bad one. I will make my tomorrow better.

Facing the Fear of Public Speaking

Last week was a good week. I faced an ongoing fear of mine. I've never been comfortable with public speaking. As part of my job last week, I didn't have to speak publicly, but I did have to be filmed speaking for approximately three minutes about the value of social media engagement. The length was a blip in my whole day and the topic was one I know well, but to actually have all focus be directly on me and recorded, I wasn't looking forward to doing it.

I read something recently though that said people sometimes talk themselves into fear. My "fear" of speaking in front of others might be fueled by my thinking that I'm not prepared enough or good enough or capable of doing a good job. So instead of focusing on how uncomfortable I would be, how badly I might screw up, I prepared. I practiced in the mirror and on the way home, talking to myself in the car. That way when the day came, I felt like I had the tools necessary to get the job done. And the thing is this time I told myself how awesome I was going to do. I didn't let doubts enter my mind, and it worked.

Yes, it could've been smoother, but honestly the end product is something I was proud of. Additionally, I was just proud that I followed through on something that I had committed to. I didn't punk out. Doing videos for this part of my job is on a volunteer basis, but I felt that as a team member, I needed to step up and do my part. I needed to make it known that I could handle everything that everyone else can, not to my team, but to myself - and that included standing up for three minutes to speak on a marketing topic.

I've read tips on how to face your fears when public speaking. They say to imagine the audience in their underwear. They say to take deep breaths. But, I say be prepared and get the positive energy flowing. Tell yourself that you are going to do great. Focus on the moment and exactly what you're supposed to do, which for me was to speak to a camera in an intelligent way. Whenever you feel your heart start beating a little faster, focus your attention on something else besides your nerves. Focus on what you've practiced and work with someone who is patient and can direct you in a calm way. One of my team members let me know when I needed to slow down my speaking, but didn't make me stop and start over. Because sometimes you just need to power through. Whatever seems so scary, powering through makes you feel like you're in control.

Last week was a good week. Something that I didn't look forward to doing, something that I didn't think would turn out well actually turned out to go a lot better than expected. I know I can handle it when it comes my way. And having that knowledge helps boost my confidence.

First step, public speaking - up next, take over the world...