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| Photo by Katherine Beth Photography |
Today, I was a bit of a brat. I had my heart set on going to the beach, but the sun never came out. Were we or weren't we going to the beach? Mikey waited patiently while I pouted through my indecisiveness.
We did end up going to the beach. We did not find a place to park. We came back home and Mikey put on sounds of the ocean he found on YouTube. He said he would shine a light on me since there was no sun. I can't even make this stuff up. The guy is that sweet.
I tell you this peek into the life because this is reality. It is the countdown to our wedding. 33 days to be exact (per that trusty resource TheKnot.com) and this is the day-to-day. Him making my life better.
I used to kind of question when people would call their significant others their "best friend" because it's like, what do you mean? I already have best friends. The person I'm dating is just that - the person I'm dating. But now, being in it, from boyfriend to fiance to husband-to-be -- thank GOD he is my best friend.
Mikey has seen me in brat form before. He's been there during my snappiest, hangriest, most stubborn of times. During the times when I've been wrong, and I KNOW it, but still won't give in. And, bless his soul, he just waits for the storm to pass.
The person you marry should be your best friend. Lesson learned.
I will also tell you that I never imagined I'd get married. It wasn't on my list of "things to do." It's always been write a novel, move to New York. Or, write a novel, move to the beach. Or, write a novel, travel the world. I'm not anti-marriage or feel like I don't need a man. It just didn't cross my mind that often.
Well, ok, during Christmastime watching "Love Actually" and when people would say things like, "But you're so smart/funny/single" but other than that, it wasn't something that I had to come to grips with, the fact I might not get married. I was OK.
Me and my books would be just fine.
Because how would I get married and be independent? I am an active participant in my life. And when you create your own voice, a certain direction for your life, it's hard not to want to protect it or worry about losing it. It's not romantic. It reeks of narcissism. But, that's the truth of this single gal who eased herself into a relationship.
But here's the beauty of it: I didn't have to change for him. I was able to remain completely myself, but better!
I am calmer. Not because he tells me to relax (the worst!), but over time, you just chill out in the natural way that you do when you live with another human you have respect for.
I am smarter. Mikey knows a lot. I know more, of course. But he's pretty smart and I've learned new things. Mostly baseball things. Walk-off homer. I get it now.
I am prettier. I didn't do a damn thing different. Mikey just tells me that every day and he's not a liar. So, there you have it.
These next 30+ days will be the most I will talk about marriage for probably my whole life, but I'm here to tell you that love will surprise you in the best possible ways. How accepting it is. How nonjudgemental. How easy it can be. Taking chances become easier. Changing direction is like sweet serendipity.
Because when your best friend, whom you love, asks you to marry him, actually gets down on a knee and politely poses the question -- you say YES.
That's a no-brainer. You add "get married" to your list, honey. Pass me a pen. Where do I sign?
